Embrace of Weirdness
by SheWhoEventuallyWrites
Summary: When Stan and Ford were sent to stay with their Grunkle Dipper they never thought they would end dealing with crazy wizards, zombies, lake monsters, and demons! And that's just the tip of the weird iceberg. (On re-write due to finale)
1. The Magic Book

The Embrace of Weirdness

Summary: When Stan and Ford were sent to stay with their Grunkle Dipper they never thought they would end dealing with crazy wizards, zombies, lake monsters, and demons! And that's just the tip of the weird iceberg.

Notes:

1: I know there are others out there, but I started writing this a month ago and wanted to get it out. At can say that I'm the first to think of using Dipper instead of Mabel. (As far as I know.) I'll you figure out the rest of the story switches as the story goes on.

(Chapter 1: the Magic Book)

The tales begins with the summer of 2012. This was the summer where the parents of two identical twins decided they could use some fresh air for the summer instead of sitting inside playing video games all day. Or at least that was the case with Stanford, who was usually wrapped up in some sort of technical endeavor. In young Stanley's case they felt the country would give him a place to expend his vast mass of energy that usually got him in trouble. Often.

They shipped the twins up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon, to stay at their great-uncle's place in the woods.

In the store of the shack, Ford was sketching in one of his books when his twin Stanley came up behind him with a mask.

"Boo!" Startled more by the sudden appearance than the mask itself, Ford fell back.

"AH!" Stan took off his mask and started laughing.

"Ahahahaha! Hahaha!" Ford gave him a playful glare.

"Stan! You jerk!" He tackled him and the two started to play wrestle. They stopped as an elderly man hobbled into the room. He leaning heavily on a silver cane with a handle shaped like a UFO.

"Alright you two! That enough," he said gruffly. "Cut it out before you two break something."

Their grunkle Alvin Pines, or Dipper as he was commonly known as, had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called "The Mystery Shack" To Stanley the only mystery was how the place was standing as it looked as if it was built on the ultimate sugar high with a threat of seizure from the bright lights. Unlike him, Ford was in love with the place as he had always had a fascination with weird stuff. Stanley fingered this was because Stanford had a strange birth defect that gave him six fingers on each hand. In addition to this Stanford also had the smarts to rival any mad scientist. Stanley didn't mind the weird stuff, but was in for the fun rather than the mystery.

"Don't be such a wet towel, Grunkle Dippy! We won't break-" Stan stretched his arms and accidentally knocked over a jar of eye-balls. The boys flinched as the jar shattered. Stanley gave Dipper an apologetic laugh as the older man gave him a flat look.

"Eh, heh... oops!" A woman with an adorable face and large size body came over.

"I'm on it." And she immediately started sweeping up the mess, her thick, dark brown curls bouncing. Dipper sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Thanks, Aletta." Then he turned to Stan who mentally prepared himself for a scolding. Instead, Dipper reached over and handed him some signs. "Here; I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the forest. Can you guys do that for me?" Stanley nodded confidently.

"No problem!" He glanced at his brother. "Hey maybe we can look around in that spooky part while we're at it." He nudged him and Ford nudged him back.

"Yeah! Maybe we'll find some sort of secret treasure. Or vampires!" he agreed.

"No! Stan, just hang then along the path, alright?" Stanley and Ford's shoulder's slumped.

"Aww! Grunkle Dipper..." they groaned in unison.

"Now don't you two start that again," Dipper knelt down between the two and put a hand on both their shoulders. "Look, I know you're curious; I was young once too." Stan scoffed.

"What, like a hundred years ago?"

"The _point is_ that it's dangerous out there," Dipper pressed on. "There are all sorts of weird things out there and I would never forgive myself if something bad happened to you out here. So just do me a favor and stay on the path?" The twins gave a disappointed sigh in unison.

"Kay..." Dipper gave them a light hug.

"Okay then! Have fun and _be careful._ " he told them. "I have to get back to the tour group. These flashy lights don't pay for themselves. And neither do the seizure lawsuits."

As soon as the twins were outside, they shared a look.

"Race ya to the spooky woods, poindexter!" Stanley said as he nudged the other. Ford nudged him back.

"You're on, muscle brain!" They started to run towards the woods, despite their uncle's orders, when suddenly Ford stopped. The reason for this was in the form of an Asian girl at the age of sixteen.

"Hi guys. What is up?"She was herding Waddles, Dipper's giant pet pig, into the house through the back door. Ford cleared his throat and tried acting "cool."

"Oh! Hey. You know, nothing. Just helping Dipper put up signs." he said.

"Oh. I see. Well, try not to get into trouble out and do anything like, oh I dunno... _raise the dead_." she teased. Candy was the counter girl at the shack and helped with stock. While Stan liked her well enough Ford had a _huge_ crush on her.

"What's that?" Stan nodded at the stereo near Candy's feet.

"Oh! This is my Karaoke box," she responded. "I'm trying to convince Dipper into setting up a karaoke room so we can sing our hearts out!" She waved the microphone around and sung the last part.

"Whoa, that would be rockin'!" Ford said, doing a weird pose. Stan gave them both a flat look.

"Pssh! You mean lame!" Ford elbowed him. "Ow~!" Candy sighed.

"Yeah, Dipper's not too fond of the idea himself." she said. "But perhaps a little pop-rock will change his mind!" She turned on the machine and started singing at the top of her lungs. " _Ohh, oh! Takin' over midnight!_ "

"Gah! Candy, enough! I told you no!" Dipper yelled from inside the shack. "Especially not that song!"

"He'll come around." Candy said confidently.

A few failed songs later, Stan finally managed to get Ford to stop making goo-goo eyes at Candy and come to the woods.

"You like her!" Stan teased.

"Do not!"

"You like her!"

"Shut up!" Stanley laughed as Ford chased him deeper into the woods. They were running along the path, laughing happily when a pebble hit the back of Ford's head.

"Ow! What the heck?" Ford turned and saw three other children. One of them was Robbie. A punk of a kid who had bullied the twins since they got there.

"Well, well, if it ain't the loser twins. Grandpa finally get sick of you two and send you to live with the wood trolls?" Stan stood protectively in front of Ford.

"You would know, Robbie! Get lost!" he snapped.

"Or what? You gonna use a lame laser from your uncle's weirdo shack to blast me?" Robbie scoffed.

"Listen, losers, and listen good;" he pointed at Ford first. "You're a six-fingered freak-" he pointed at Stan. _"-_ and you're just a... dumber, sweatier version o' him. And you're lucky you have each other because neither of you will ever make any friends, even here in this loser town!" Laughing, Robbie turned to his friends and they left. "Ha, hahahaha! Dorks and losers..."

Stan glared after him. He then noticed his brother looking disparagingly at his hands. He put on a brotherly smile and touched his hands.

"Hey. Don't let those idiots get to you." he told him.

"But I am a freak," Ford bemoaned. "I just wonder if there's anywhere in the world where weirdos like me fit in." Stan grinned.

"Well, this place is a good start." Then he pulled Ford up. "Chin up, buddy. Look. One of these days, you and me are gonna be an unstoppable team of adventurers. We'll hunt for treasure, get all the girls, and do all sorts of awesome things."

"You really mean it?" Stan nodded.

"High six?" Ford smiled.

"High six."

They shared a quiet moment before they decided it was awkward.

"C'mon. We better hang up the signs." Ford told his brother.

"Yeah. Since Dip head's too old to do it himself." Stanley held a sign up and started to hammer it when it makes a metallic sound.

"Huh? Ford you hear that?" He tapped the tree once again and more sounds appeared. Ford experimentally knocked on it for himself. He then wipe away some old dust and opened a secret window revealing a silver box with several gems.

"Whoa! What's that?" he asked. Stan shrugged.

"I dunno but look at those! That's gotta be a year's worth of candy there!" Stanley tried to use the hammer to pull the jewels out, but suddenly they started to glow. The boys stumbled back and turned as something sprouted from the ground behind them. The sprout bloomed into a giant pink daisy and opened up to reveal a white journal with a shooting star on the cover.

"That's..."

"Really girly." Stanley finished. "Really, really girly."

" _That's_ what you're focused on?"

"How can I not!"

Ford stepped forward and cautiously grabbed the diary. He winced for a moment, then let out a sigh of relief when nothing happened. Feeling safe, he looked the dairy over. It really was girly. It had glitter and bedazzled jewels all over the cover with a shooting star. On the cover was the number three.

Ford opened it and flipped to a page with an eye-glass is in it.

"Hey, this what those 'posh' people wear." Stanley said over his shoulder.

"Maybe you could start wearing that since you refuse to wear your glasses." Stanley scoffed.

"No way! We've already got one dork running around here."

"Hey, look at this," Ford positioned the book so both could read it. "'It's hard to believe it's been six whole years since I began my studies of the _magic-"_ this word was written in glitter and pink. "-in Gravity Falls, Oregon.'"

"'Magic?' Seriously? Who believes in that weird stuff?" Ford nudged him.

"Shut up! Look at at this." He showed Stanley a page that read in large, scribbled letters, _**"TRUST NO ONE."**_

"Whoa. _Someone_ was paranoid." Ford purposely ignored him as he continued reading.

"'Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before _he_ finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is _no one_ you can trust. Which is why I need someone outside-'" Ford quickly turned to his twin. "Stan, do you know what this mean?"

"That there was a some weird paranoid person around here who spent their time chasing hallucinations?" Ford rolled his eyes in frustration.

"No! It means something strange is going here!" he snapped. "Something weird is going on here. I mean, you saw the weird flowery thing two seconds ago, right? And just this morning, my mosquito bites spelled out "BEWARE.'" Stan squinted hard at Dipper's arm.

"That says 'BEWARB,' doesn't it?" Ford scratched his arm, but didn't reply. "Look, Ford; this all just silly stuff! You know those things don't really exist. Watch, I'll show you." Stan took the book and flipped through the pages. Stanley had to bring the book really close to his face to read, making Ford scrunch his own. If Stan wasn't so stubborn... "Let's see...Gnomes, cursed objects, spells! Ha! Here's a good one," Stanley cleared his throat.

"Uh, Stanley-"

" _Corpus Levitus! Diablo Dominus! MONDO VICIUM!"_ 'Vicium' echoed through the air, as a large gust blew through their hair. Then everything fell silent.

After a moment, Stanley straightened himself out.

"Hah! See I told-" The ground suddenly started shaking and a huge crack forms between the boys. Both Ford and Stanley leaped back in fear. Green smoke emitted from the crack as a hand reached out. The hand then pulled out the body of a zombie!

"AHH!"

"Stanley! Wh-what did you?!"

"Isn't it obvious?!" The zombie slowly pulled itself from the hole with a roar. Then it crawled towards Stanley. Ford's eyes widen.

"STAN!" Stan panicked and lashed out with his fist as hard as he could. Despite his young age, Stanley was very, very strong. As such when his fist collided with the creature it knocked him out. Stanley blinked, surprised that it went down so easily.

"Huh?" Ford jumped over the crack and ran over to his twin.

"Stan! Are you alright?!" he asked as he helped the other up. Stanley nodded slowly.

"Uhh...yeah. I'm fine." He licked his dry lips. "What was that?"

"It was a zombie! _You raised a zombie from the dead_!"

"Really? Cool! Hey, did you see me punch it out?" Ford walked over and picked up the diary.

"Do you believe me now?" he asked, almost reproachful.

"Okay, okay! You were right. Again." Stanley muttered. "There is something weird going on-"

The ground started shaking again and more cracks formed with more green smoke emerging. Suddenly hundreds of zombies appeared and each of them were staring at the boys, who shared a cry.

"Run!"

The kids ran back to the shack as fast as they could. Candy greeted them with a wave.

"Hey, guys. What's—OH MY!" She stepped back fearfully as all the zombies started to surround the shack. They came from the woods and roads, all moaning and groaning like teenagers.

Candy turned to the boys, hands on her hips.

"Boys, what did I tell you two _not_ to do?" Stan's shoulders drooped as she and ford glared.

"Raise the dead." he said, sounding ashamed.

"And what did you do?"

"Raised the dead."

A zombie lashed at them and almost hit them before they duck. Candy picked up the karaoke machine and swung at the zombie.

"Take that, undead sucka!" The machine collided with the Zombie and it's head flew off. "Huh! This things a surprisingly good weapon!" The zombies growled and the three ran around the side of the house, the other zombies in slow pursuit. Stanley grabbed a shovel from Waddles' pig pen and used it to attack a zombie.

"Ford! What do we do?!" Ford thought fast.

"Umm-Quick! The golf cart!" he cried. The three ran towards the cart, but the Zombies attacked it, tipping it over and biting at it.

"Aw, come on!" Stan yelled just before Ford pulled him away from a zombie hand that lashed out. The Zombies continued advancing toward the twins, who backed against the wall in fear as they clung to each other.

"Aaahhh!"

"Where the heck is Dipper?!" Stan yelped.

(*

Meanwhile inside the shack Dipper was showing some tourist a swirly pattern on a stick.

"Behold! The world's most distracting object."

"Oooh..."

"Just try to look away, you can't!" Dipper stared deeply in the thing as the whole world started to fade. "I can't even remember what I was talking about."

None of them even heard the boys or the zombies outside.

(*

"Don't worry! As the responsible teen I shall protect-" Candy was cut off as she was suddenly bitten by a stray Zombie head, which was gnawing on her ankle. "Huh. Never mind." Her eyes went yellow as she transformed before them into a zombie. "Um, now that I am a brain eater, can I have _your brains_?"

"AAHH!" The kids scream and run into the Shack where they slam the door.

"Quick! We need to board up all the windows!" Ford cried. In the corner of the room, Waddles was asleep ignoring everything. The twins pile things in front of the door in an attempt to bloc it, but the zombies pressed against it, making it crack.

"O-okay, smart guy! What do we do now?!" Stanley asked. Ford quickly picked up the diary and flipped through the pages.

"Uh! Uh! Here! 'Zombies have a weakness! Previously thought to be invincible, their skulls can be shattered by a perfect two part harmony.'"

"You mean we've gotta sing them to death?!" Stan yelled. "Are you serious?!"

"Hey! This is _your_ fault! You summoned them!" Ford yelled back. Suddenly they hear a crash at the side. Candy poked her head in.

"Hello, boys! Just so you know I taught the zombies how to get into the fuse box. I am an alpha leader among these guys!" The lights went out and the zombies started climbing in through the window. They were thrown back when the lights returned with a vengeance. Candy chuckled.

"Oops! I forgot about the backup generators. We have about sixteen of those." Ford took this chance to grab Stan and run up the stairs. Waddles peeked his head up, thought about following, then decided against it as he went back to sleep. The zombies ignored him for some reason.

Stanley continued bashing zombies with his fists, then backed up the stairs as more enter from the front door. Ford pulled him up the stairs and once they reached the top they pushed over a grandfather clock with a grunt, sending it tumbling into the horde of zombies. The twins then ran into their room and slammed the door.

"How are we going to create a two part harmony?" Ford said, mostly to himself.

"Well, you've a naturally high-pitched scream and I can make noises with my body? Sometimes intentionally." Stan said quickly. Suddenly Candy's karaoke machine burst through the window. "Huh. That's... convenient?"

(*

All the zombies made their way outside as everything inside was destroyed. Candy followed as well, but as they passed the gift shop she caught a glimpse of the hypnosis device in Dipper's hand. The device had made all the people so brain dead that the zombies didn't even register them.

"Ooh... it's cheapness is hypnotizing." Candy said, watching the device. A zombie called her, but she wasn't moving. "Shhh! It is speaking to me..."

(*

"Ready, Stan?" Ford said, rolling back his shoulders. Stan stood stiffly like a deer caught in the spot light as the music started. He frowned at the lyrics, trying to read them.

"Uh, Ford? Our lives may not be worth this." he said.

"Do you want to get eaten?! Look, just sing!" Stan squinted at the screen.

"' _Friday night, and we're gonna party 'til dawn. Don't worry, Daddy, (questioningly) I've got my favorite dress on?!'_ Ford this is stupid!" Ford started to sing as zombies start crawling up the roof.

" _'Roll in to the party, the boys are lookin' our way/We just keep dancin'/We don't care what they say! And all the boys are gettin' up in my face_ —' Aah!" He jumped back as a zombie swiped. "Stan! We have to sing together or it won't work!" Stan moaned begrudgingly.

"Ugh! _'Boys are a bore, let's show 'em the door._ '" Then the twins started to sing together.

" _'We're takin' over the dance floor! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like!'_ " As their voices harmonized a sound wave echoed out, causing the zombies to cover their ears. A few of them had their heads explode into gooshy green goo. Seeing that it was working, the boys continued singing louder.

" _'Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like! Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight!'_ " As they sang, more and more zombies exploded. " _'We're queens of the disco! Oh-oh! Girls do what we like! Oh-oh! We're taking over tonight!'_ "

"'Takin' over tooniiiiight!'" sang Ford who was getting way too into this. Suddenly a zombie popped it's head up. Ford screams, but Stan rushes over to deliver one last hit.

"BOOM! Deal with it, zombie idiots!" he said with a maniacal laugh. Then together the twins chanted,

"PINES! PINES! PINES! PINES!"

(*

Below, in the shop the device finally stopped turning. Dipper shook his head as his mind returned to him.

"Whoa. That was a...trip..." he looked around at the devastation and random zombie parts. "Uh, what just... sigh. Never mind. Aletta!" Aletta entered the room and started vacuuming body parts.

"I vacuum now." she said pleasantly.

"Mommy, can we get this broken zombie skull?"

*(

After the whole incident the twins, retreated downstairs to the living room where they both jumped in the sofa chair.

"Um, Ford? Sorry 'bout summoning the undead." Stan said, shifting guiltily. Ford smiled lightly as he nudged him.

"That's okay." Ford pulled out the dairy and the two flipped through the pages. "We're gonna have to be careful, Stan. Look at the last page; it just stops, like the person who was writing this mysteriously disappeared."

"Whoa. It's like a plot for a book series."

"Right? This all so cool!" Ford said excitedly. "We're gonna have to keep this between us. If Dipper found out he'd go super protective on us. And everyone else could be a suspect." Stan frowned.

"In what?" Ford shrugged.

"I.. dunno. Yet! But I know there's something and the answers are all in here." Ford patted the book just as Candy suddenly broke through the wall. The boys screamed.

"Blahh...Blahhh... Oh, wait. That is vampires, isn't it? Tee, hee! I am so silly." she said. Stanley jumped up.

"Don't worry, Sixer! I'll handle this! Sorry, Candy! Looks like we gotta kill you again." Stan grabbed a chair, but Ford stopped him.

"Wait! There's a page in here about curing zombification. It's gonna take a lot of formaldehyde and cinnamon though." Stan sighed.

"Really? Sigh! Okay. Let's fix up your _girlfriend_." Ford glared as Stan used the chair to push Candy away. "Come on Candy. Let's fix you up."

"Brains! Braaains!" she moaned.

"Cut it out!" Candy giggled.

"Hee, hee, oops! Sorry!"

(End of chapter 1)

Just for the record I'm switching/making things up as I go. So who knows what will happen.

I made Candy Wendy's replacement because while I like the idea of Manly Dan having a bigger roll, I don't think he'd be Ford's romantic type. Ford's type would be someone smart who always praises him. I dunno, I just always thought Candy would be Ford's type (if it wasn't for the age thing).

As for the zombie thing, I wanted to start the story with a bang and plus you cannot tell me that Stan wouldn't be the type to accidentally summon zombies the moment he first got the book.

Well, review! And tell me what you would like to see in the future.


	2. Where Curiosity Leads

The Embrace of Weirdness

Summary: When Stan and Ford were sent to stay with their Grunkle Dipper they never thought they would end dealing with crazy wizards, zombies, lake monsters, and demons! And that's just the tip of the iceburg.

Notes:

1: I know there are others out there, but I started writing this a month ago and wanted to get it out. At can say that I'm the first to think of using Dipper instead of Mabel. (As far as I know.) I'll you figure out the rest of the story switches as the story goes on.

2: I KNOW ABOUT RELATIVITY FALLS! You all told me about it, I found on Tumblr (which still rejects me). It's right here for anyone curious: 

I'm keeping the name though because there at least three other stories out there with that name. Thank you all for sharing, this will help when I hit the road blocks.

 _Special thanks to:_

Extreme Light 9: Thank you!

Cesargarciadiaz99: LOL, I'll try. (Hopefully I won't disappoint.) Thank you so much!

WDW: I really wanted to start the story with a bang. (Course this means I've gotta think of something bigger to take the place of Scaryoke.) I've got other roles for Fiddleboy and don't worry; she will come.

Guest: Everyone makes Dipper the author, but I wanted him to fill the Grunkle role because I think it suits him. And having Mabel as the author allows me to create all dorts of original ideas that I don't think anyone's thought of.

Princess Dia: Thank you, your highness! (XD) And don't worry, he'll appear later. I'm really glad you like the twins as I have trouble writing the Stans as kids (ironic due to my other fic).

Bast13: Thank you! And I'll try. Hopefully, this chapter's a bit better.

Extra special thanks to **Blind-Eyephone,** who has been trying to help me with the wicked Tumblr. (TUMBLR!)

(Chapter 2: Where Curiosity Leads)

"Are you done yet, poindexter?" Ford glared down at his younger brother in annoyance.

"Do you want to come up here?" he called. Stan gulped as he looked up.

"Er, sorry! I'm still looking for switches down here." he said as he went back to over turning rocks.

A couple of days after finding the mysterious diary two had decided to go back to the spot where they had found the book in hopes of finding a clue to the mystery of the book and it's owner. Ford was convinced there was a secret passage somewhere around the metal tree. He climbed said tree and pulled all the branches, wondering if there was a hidden lever. Meanwhile, Stan diligently searched the ground looking for buttons as he refused to climb even a foot. They had started this in the morning and now it was nearing lunch time, so both were starting to get cranky.

Stan let out an irritated grumble. "Ford, there's nothing here! Let's just go back to the shack and call it a day." Ford sighed, agreeing.

"Okay." He pulled one more just for the sake of it. Nothing happened. Letting out a disappointed sigh, he started to clamber down. As he did so, Stan grabbed the monocle from the book. He played with it when suddenly he noticed something.

"Huh?" Stan walked over to the tree and through the monocle he saw writing on the tree.

 _'Tickle me!'_ it read. Stan frowned.

"Uh, what?"

"What's up?" Ford asked, sliding down the trunk.

"Check it out." Stan handed Ford the monocle and he had the same puzzled look his twin had.

"'Tickle me?'"

"Is it serious?"

"I guess..." Ford reached out and...tickled the tree, feeling very silly as he did so. He did this for a few minutes and suddenly the tree started to shake. Ford and Stan jumped back as a face face appeared on the tree. It started guffawing dropping nuts and squirrels, until it's mouth dropped open to reveal a doorway. Twins shared a look.

"That was... weird." Stan said. "But cool!" Ford perked brightly.

"We found the door way!" he said as he pulled out a pocket flashlight. "Who knows what we could find down there, Stan? It might be filled with lost prehistoric life forms! Or Mesoamerican gold!"

Stan held out his arm.

"Uh, ladies first!" he said. Ford gave him a light punch and Stan punched him back.

They then entered the tree's maw where they descended down some weird, strange, steps.

"Whoa, this place is creepy!" Ford mused.

"Don't worry, bro! Wherever we go, we go together." Stan told him. "Hey, let's leave our names so people know we've been here." Ford nodded and pulled out a marker. He wrote his name first, then gave Stan the pen to sign his.

The two continued down the stairs until they came to a brightly decorated room. The room was bright lavender and the decorations contrasted with the spiders and cobwebs that covered everything.

"You know, this girly stuff is starting to grow on me." Stan stated as he picked up a unicorn plush.

"Don't let dad hear you say that." Considering what their father was like, this came off as more of a warning than a joke. Ford looked all over the room and noticed all the supplies. "Hmm... it looks like an underground alchemy lab. It must have belonged to the author."

"This must be where she made her love potions and stuff," Stan said as he put his face in a barrel. When he pulled his face out he had black, fuzzy caterpillars all over his face. "Ha! I'm Captain Cata-beard!" he laughed. Ford searched the shelves. For the most part there was just wilted herbs and dead bugs.

"Huh? Hey, isn't this a Smez dispenser that dad tried to sell."

"Sweet! Does it still have candy?" Stan wiped the bugs from his face and ran over to his twin. There he took the dispenser and popped a candy. He coughed. "Ew, dusty!" Ford laughed.

"Ew! I can't believe you ate that!" he said. He looked down and noted something.

"Huh? Hey Stan, I think this can was opened recently."

"So you think someone is still down here?" Stan asked. "Maybe the chick who wrote the book? " Ford was excited by the idea.

"Maybe! It would be so cool to meet her!" he said.

"Unless she's the kind of witch who eats kids."

"That's a hag, Stan!"

"Same thing!"Stan leaned against a wall and slipped as the boy band poster behind him tore. There it revealed a hidden hatch.

"Whoa! You found something, Stan!" Together they opened the hatch and crawled into a tunnel.

When they reached the end they found themselves in a square room that reminded Stan of a rubix cube with all the colors and designs.

"I'm getting really sick of all this color." Ford commented.

"This place hurts my eyes." Stan muttered as he rubbed his eyes. He stepped forward and one of the squares started to sink into the ground. Stan's heart jumped, knowing this couldn't be good.

"Uh-oh." Just as he said this the hatch slammed, locking the boys in.

"Oh no!" Ford cried. The symbols all over started to glow a light pink as the room started to shake.

"Whoa! Wh-what's going on?! YIKES!" Stan fell back as a square shot in front of him. All the squares started pushing out and Ford noticed that the marks had become white hot. Ford and Stan had to find squares where there were no marks.

"Ford! What do we do?!" Ford frantically flipped through the book.

"Um! Um!" When he found nothing he remembered the monocle. He used it and through the rose colored lens he saw that four squares were different from the others. "Ah ha!"

"Ford! What—AHHH!" Stan was suddenly hit from behind and sent flying forward. Fortunately he didn't land on any symbols. Instead he landed on one of the protruding squares, his back sizzling. Ford's eyes widen in horror.

"STAN!" Acting fast, Ford ran to the four blocks and touched them using his body as if he was in a game of twister. Those marks were not hot. After he touched the last a doorway folded out. Ford ran to his brother and by a stroke of luck and determination the two made it out before all the blocks cemented together.

Even though they were safe, Ford's heart was still beating. "Stan!" he cried. "Stan!" The boy lied on the floor, whimpering as his skin still steamed. Ford looked at the mark and winced. The mark was glowing orange and red and pulsed against Stan's skin.

"St-Stan?" Ford voice cracked, his heart breaking at the sight of his brother in such pain. Stan couldn't respond. Instead he curled into a ball, as if this would somehow stop the pain. Ford reached out to touch him, but stopped, not wanting to hurt Stan. Ford had no idea what to do! His body shaking just as much as his brothers. He tried to clear his mind and focus, but all he could see was Stan crying on the floor.

They had to get out of here. Ford had to get Stan to a doctor, quickly. Biting his lip, he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the pocket first aid kid. He kept it for all times Stan scraped himself because he couldn't see too well. It was pretty worthless though. All it had was bandages and instructions on CPR. Still, it was better then nothing. Stan mewled in pain as Ford used the bandages to cover the burn, hoping this would keep it from being infected.

"Sorry," he mumbled. When the mark was completely covered Stan finally forced himself up, angrily wiping his tears.

"Where are we?!" His voice came out in a snap, even though he didn't mean it to. Ford finally glanced around at their surroundings.

"I dunno. A surveillance room maybe?" Ford's curiosity rose again. Why would the author have all this stuff? For a witch she had a lot of technology here. Could witches use computers? Was all this even magic or advanced technology-

His curiosity was crushed by shame as Stan let out a hiss of pain as he stood. Ford quickly grabbed him, flushed by his shame. None of that mattered right now.

"I'm fine!" Stan yelled, pushing him away

"You are not!" Ford yelled back. "We've gotta get you to the hospital!"

"Are you crazy?! What're we supposed to tell them?!"

"I-I don't know! And I don't care!" Ford snapped. "If we don't get help, your burn will get infected and they'll have to cut off your back or-" _'You'll die.'_ Ford couldn't say this, but the thought parked in the front of his brain, unrelenting. He'll die. If they didn't get out of here, then Stanley will die. All because Ford wanted to find the author.

Stanley wasn't looking at him. He bit his lip and stared at the ground, fighting the tears that still stung his eyes. His back hurt really bad, but he didn't want to admit it.

"How're we s'pose to get out anyway?" he asked, trying to think of something else. They looked around. They couldn't go back the way they came, that was for sure. Stanford glanced around.

"There's another door over there," he said. "Let's check that out." He helped Stan stand and walked over to the door. He opened it, but it was too dark to see anything.

"Where are the lights?" Ford said to himself. He reached around and found a cord. He gave it a tug ans the boys screamed as water gushed down, followed by a blast of hot air that shoved them together. This worst for Stanley this aggravated the mark on his back. When this was done a smiley face was stamped on their cheeks and a red light flashed and a tone sounds. The door opened to reveal a wrecked underground round room with a bunch of tubes and alchemy symbols carved everywhere. On the floor was a giant symbol.

"Whoa, what's this?" Ford had no answer.

"It looks like a hidden lab." he said.

"I thought we were dealing with magic, not science." Stan said through gritted teeth as his back hurt.

"Maybe it's both." There was nothing Ford wanted to do more than to explore, but with Stan hurt the way he was he knew he had to find a way out. He couldn't help but feel annoyed at this. Here they were, at the center of what could be one of the greatest mysteries ever and he had to leave it because Stan couldn't be careful. And now Ford felt horrible for thinking that when his twin was so hurt that he could barely stand on his own.

"Hey, Ford? What do you think dug all these tunnels?" Ford peeked towards on of the holes.

"I dunno... mole men?" Before Ford could get excited, they suddenly heard a growling sound. Both the boys screamed as a shadow with a bug like head moved. Ford helped his brother back to the door, which they tried to force open, but failed.

"Dammit!" Ford kicked the door and looked behind them. The shadow was coming closer. He quickly grabbed his brother.

"C'mon!"

"Ow! Hey!" The mark made it difficult, but Stan managed to follow his twin into the tunnels. A glance behind saw the shadow of a spider. Gulping Stan ran faster.

The twins ran and ran, but soon found themselves cornered.

"What now?!" Stan cried and he and Ford clung together.

"I don't know!" The beast was coming closer. Was this it? Was this how they were going to die?

Suddenly the shadow of a woman appeared. She jumped atop the beast wrestled with it before ripping out it's tongue and smacking the beast with it.

"Back, back you heinous beast!" The beast fled and a few seconds later a woman walked into view. She had golden hair in braid and was dressed more like a princess than anything. This sight was in great contrast to what she had done moments ago, yet she still held the tongue as proof of her deed.

"Well, I just ripped out a monster's tongue." She dropped it down in front of the boys. They stared in amazed shock. Ford's jaw dropped.

"Whoa! A-Are you-?!" He didn't get to finish his question.

"We have to hurry! I scared it off, but it'll regenerate." She turned and started to run. The twins followed, Ford protectively holding Stan's hand.

The mysterious led them down the tunnel into one where water covered the floor.

"I wasn't expecting guests," the woman said conversationally. "I've been down here for a very long time. Years! Weeks, maybe! I miss orange juice."

"So you're really her?" Stanford said excitedly.

"Her?" Stanley whispered as he leaned in.

"Her!" Ford was so excited.

"Her?" the woman repeated. Ford released Stanley's hand and excitedly ran to the woman.

"I can't believe it! You're the author!" he exclaimed. "I've got like a gillion questions! Why did you write the journals? Who was after you? Why did you build this bunker?"

"What's with the rubix room?" Stan muttered bitterly. He touched his back and winced, but Ford was too busy with the author to notice. The author giggled as she patted Ford on the head.

"I'd I'd love to discuss this in time, young man," she said. "But I'm afraid we have more pressing matters at the moment." She turned and walked ahead a bit.

"You see, it's one of my experiments. A shape shifter that is able to take the form of anyone or anything it sees. It broke free from a cage of solid steel!" She lead the boys to the lab where she motioned to a broken cage. She sighed. "I've gone mad trying to catch the creature alone." She turned to the boys with a smile. "But you're here now! Please, won't you help me catch it?" She looked back at them and fluttered her long eyelashes. Ford blushed happily.

(*

The author lead them to another part of the passage.

"Do come in!" the woman said as she pushed aside a curtain of beads. Ford bounced after her excitedly, while Stan did so grumpily. He was mad that his brother seemed to have forgotten him in favor of the author. His back still hurt, but at least he could walk by himself. (Like he had much of a choice.)

"I apologize for the state of things," the woman continued. "I don't get many non mole-people visitors."

"So there really are mole people here?"

"Yes, yes. But that's not important. Now the beast must have some weakness we can exploit. Sigh! I just wish I had my research on me. But alas, I lost my dairies so many years ago." Ford dashed forward.

"We found one of them! That's how we tracked you down here." he said as he pulled the dairy from his journal. The woman let out a gasp.

"Can it be?" she took the journal from the child happily. "This is wonderful! I... I can't begin to express my gratitude!" she said as she flipped through it. "Oh yes, after all these years..." Ford ran excitedly over to Stan.

"Isn't this great?! We found the author! Can imagine all the great things we're gonna see?" Stan turned bitterly.

"Yeah. Great." He kicked a can and noticed something. "Huh?" he picked it up and when he saw the image he stiffened. "Uh, Ford?" He handed the can to his brother, eyes wide. Ford looked at it and gained the same expression Stan had.

On the can of Cheerios (the WORST spaghetti ever) was the image of 'Brave Beauty Braid.' She looked just like the author. All the pieces clicked into place. Laughing nervously, Ford stepped towards the 'woman.'

"Uhh, you know what? We-we should probably get going. Our Grunkle's probably worried about us now. Um, can I have the dairy back?" There was an eerie crack as the woman turned her head all the way around, like an owl.

"You're not going anywhere." It said in deeper and more dangerous voice. Suddenly she crawled up the wall like a spider where it's eyes turned white and sprouted spider legs. The boys screamed as they clung to each other.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" The shape shifter laughed as it turned into what Stan later describe as demonic jello with a crab arm and spider legs.

"How do you like my true form?" it asked. "Go on, admit it, you like it!" Stan tried to be tough.

"Wha- What did you do to the real author?!" he demanded. "Did you eat her?" It scoffed.

"You'll likely never find out. That witch hasn't been around for thirty years!" it said. "But I thank you for bringing me her dairy. She used to write it while I was in my cage, trying to... 'domesticate' me." The creature looked through the journal greedily. "So many wonderful forms to take!" As it flipped through the pages it transformed into other creatures the boys had yet to see, laughing with each form. Ford and Stan took a step back, but Ford knew they couldn't leave without the diary!

"Stan! We have to get the book back!" Stan glanced around then grabbed a can of beans.

"Hey, ugly! Catch!" he threw the can, but the shifter dodged it. It then turned into a giant frog monster and lashed its tongue towards them. The boys dodged and by luck the tongue hit a piece of metal. When the beast pulled back it's tongue back, it pulled the piece with it. It slammed itself in the face, dropping the book. Ford snatched it up and ran back to his twin.

"RUN! RUN! RUN!"

"As if you need to tell me!" Stan yelled as he followed.

They ran, but the shifter followed after transforming into a giant rolly polly monster. It tumbled after them and the boys ran faster. When they came to a fork in the tunnels, Ford through his light down one tunnel and ducked into the other with his brother. Both held their breaths as the shifter stopped at the fork. They released it when the beast chased the light. They then started running down the tunnel as fast as their legs could carry them. They finally stopped to rest when they found the lab.

The two boys panted heavily against each other.

"We have to get out of here." Stan panted.

"What about the shape shifter?" Ford asked. "Stan, imagine if he escapes into the town! He can transform into anything! Who knows what it could do?!"

"What about us?!" Stan snapped. "You saw that thing! How are we supposed to stop it?" Ford was already looking for an answer. He flipped desperately through the book until he found the entry on the shifter.

"Here! If we can freeze it, then it can't hurt anyone." Stan moaned and not just because his back hurt.

"And how are we supposed to do that?!" Ford smirked.

"Remember that room were saw earlier?"

(*

The shifter wandered down the halls. It turned into the form of Beauty Braid.

"Ford, do come out!" it Momentarily lost its form. "I must speak with you!" Suddenly it turned into a creature with six legs, claws, and a one-eyed head resembling a hand. It let out a mighty roar. "REVEAL YOURSELF, YOU SINGLE-FORMED HUMAN WEAKLING!" It slammed its head into the ground, making the room shake.

Suddenly it heard voices.

"Oh boy, Ford. That book sure is full of some great monsters!" Stan said loudly. The shifter turned.

"Ah. There you are!" It switched between Stan and Ford (not that this was very impressive). "Should I be one...or the other? How about both!?" The beast turned into a six-legged creature, the top half resembling Ford while the bottom half resembled Stan. Both halves had a large mouth with many sharp teeth (This was more impressive). It let out and roar and the twins ran, the shape shifter chasing after them. They ran into the round with a room with the tubes and alchemy symbols. On the floor the giant symbol gleamed, which was good as it was apart of Ford's plan.

"NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW!" Stan yelled as they pressed against the side. Ford started chanting, but before he could finish the shape shifter ran into the room. There it used it's tongue to try and grab the dairy from Ford.

"HEY, LET GO!" Ford refused to release the book and as a result was dragged along the floor. Stan grabbed the book as well.

"You leave him alone!" he yelled. Ford tripped and Stan was yanked forward with the book. Desperate, Ford grabbed a bottle from the table and threw it. The bottle exploded upon collision and both the shifter and Stan were blinded by the pink smoke that appeared and threw them back. The diary flew into the air and landed near Ford who strained to see through the smoke.

"Stan?! Stanley?!" he yelled as he scooped the book up. Suddenly he went cold as the smoke started to clear and revealed-

"STAN!" Ford ran to Stan's side as he laid on the ground. "St-Stan...no..." Tears stung Ford's eyes. No. This couldn't be happening. THIS COULDN'T BE HAPPENING!

"Uh, Ford?" Ford looked behind him.

"H-huh?!"Stan! It was Stan! He was watching him with a befuddled look. "St-Stan?! Then who's...?" Ford was cut off as the Shape Shifter tackled him, taking his form.

"Give me back that journal!"

"Never!" The two started rolling on the ground, confusing poor Stan. He looked around for something that could help him. His foot nudged against the eyeglass. He picked it up and looked through it. As he did he was able to see the shifter. Taking a breath he ran forward and socked the imposter with his fist.

The shape shifter fell back with an angry grunt.

"Ford! Read the spell! NOW!" Ford was already reading the spell.

The Shape Shifter roared angrily and returns to its true form as the spell took hold.

"No!" It tried to escape the spell circle, turning into a rock monster, then a flame monster, then the woman from earlier. No matter what he took however, the circle held him. The spell started to climb it's body. "NO!" Stan and Ford took a step back.

"Let's... lets get out of here." Ford said slowly. Suddenly the Shape Shifter laughed evilly.

"You think you're so clever don't you, boys? But you have no idea what you're up against," it warned. "You will never find The Author. If you keep digging, you'll meet a fate worse than you can imagine. And this will be the last form you ever take!" Suddenly the beast turned into one of the twins and screamed loudly. The boys watched in horror as the spell took hold and froze the beast solid.

There was a long, long silence.

"Well. I'm never sleeping again." Stan finally said. He noticed Ford's face and playfully shoved him. "Hey, don't look like that! We did it!" Ford smiled.

"Y-yeah. Yeah! We did!" Stan held up his hand.

"High six!" The two slapped hands and chanted.

"Pines! Pines! Pines!"

(*

"I still think we should get to the hospital, Stan." Ford said later that night. After defeating the demon the two returned to the shack. They managed to sneak past their grunkle and make their way to the attic where Ford was treating Stan to the best of his abilities. Stan rolled his eyes.

"It's fine! It's just like really bad sun burn." The heck it was. His back hurt and stung as if he had been set on fire. Every time his skin stretched it felt as if someone was digging a nail into him.

Still, if they went to a hospital then Dipper would find out about the diary and send them back to Jersey on a bus.

"Hey, don't look like that! All adventurers get hurt on their adventures. Just look at Indiana Jones," Stan continued. "Think of this as as our first step into being great discovers." Ford smiled at his brother's optimism. Then he fell back onto his bed.

"It's too bad you got it for nothing; we didn't find anything." he said. Stan fell next to him, on his stomach.

"Yeah. But maybe that's a good thing? I mean I've heard stories about witches and if the author created that thing we saw... I dunno, maybe we don't want to run into here." he muttered. "Anyway...I think I'm kind of adventured out for a little while." Ford thought to the last form the shape shifter took and agreed.

"Yeah. Maybe your right." feeling that it was his turn to be optimistic he added, "but at least we stopped the monster."

"Yeah! We're heroes!" They high sixed each other.

"C'mon, let's go eat supper. I'm starving!" Stan slipped on and extra shirt to hide his wound. "Race ya!" The boys laughed, then raced downstairs not knowing what lied ahead that summer.

(End of Chapter)

Well, Stanley still gets marked even in this universe, but at least this time it isn't Ford's fault. Anyway, please point out any errors story, grammar, or character wise and I'll fix it.


	3. Family Time

**The Embrace of Weirdness**

Summary: When Stan and Ford were sent to stay with their Grunkle Dipper they never thought they would end dealing with crazy wizards, zombies, lake monsters, and demons! And that's just the tip of the iceburg.

 _Special Thanks:_

DiamondLuna2: Me too! I like Dipper being the Grunkle more though, hence the reason I did this.

Extreme Light 9: I'm glad you enjoyed it! Yeah, I noticed I'm kinda mean to Stan in my stories.

Aqua Burst 07: She'll appear eventually, don't worry. I do my best with kid characters so I'm glad it pays off. It's especially weird with Stan and Ford since we've seen so little of their relationship, especially as kids.

Anyway, I'm glad you're enjoying so far.

(Chapter 3: Family Time)

Stanley and Stanford stared dumbfounded at the scene before them.

"Ta-da! It's fishing season!" Dipper announced, wearing a fishing gear so ridiculous Stanley was willing to bet that even clowns would avoid wearing it.

" _Fishing?_ " Ford repeated as he and Stanley shared a look.

This morning two very tired (and in Stanley's case, sore) twins were awakened by their tall, skinny Grunkle. Not being used to early mornings during the summer they weren't happy about the interruption to go down to the lake, especially for this reason.

"Are you serious?" Stan asked.

"C'mon! You guys are gonna love it!" Dipper urged. "Look, everyone's out here!" It appeared that way, but then there wasn't exactly that many people in town.

"See? This place is perfect for some good old fashion quality family bonding!" Stanley frowned.

"And snoozing." he didn't find the idea of fishing fun at all. It was just sitting in a boat hoping a fish tired of life and got suicidal. Just thinking about it bored him. Ford was right there with him.

"Why do you want to do this all the sudden?" he asked. "You never showed any interest in fishing before."

"Aw, come on! Look, I know I've been busy with the shack and all, so fishing's a good way to catch up. It's a nice, _safe_ way to spend some family time together." Dipper said, looking nervous. "Hey, I know what'll cheer you sad sacks up." Suddenly Dipper slapped hats on both Stanley and Stanford. "Pow! Pine boys fishing hats! That-that's hand stitching, you know." It looked like it. And Ford defiantly knew it was Dipper's stitching because the "F" on his hat peeled off. Dipper was never good with crafts, which lead the twins to wonder how he managed the attractions in the shack.

"It's just gonna be you, me, and those goofy hats on a boat for ten hours!"

" _Ten hours?_ "

"I even brought a joke book to pass the time!" He held up a joke book that made both boys cringe.

"No! NO!" Stanley cried. Ford leaned over.

"There _has_ to be a way out of this." he whispered urgently.

"I know! I'll fake a stroke and then you-" As some otherworldly force had heard them, a cry echoed over the lake.

"I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT AGAIN!" The twins turned and saw a small boy running from the dock, crashing into and overturning various things. "The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker! Come quick before it gets away!" Stanley leaned over to Ford.

"What's this nerd talking about?" Ford shrugged. Suddenly the boy grabbed Stan by his shirt and pulled him close. Stan was not happy about this as it pulled the fabric against his bandaged back thus putting pressure on it. The boy however was oblivious to his discomfort.

"I'm talking about the monster that plagues the lake!" he yelled. He was pulled away by a taller man who gripped the back of his brown overalls as he held him in the air.

"Fiddleford! Now what did I tell you about scaring my customers?" he scowled. The boy gulped.

"But, but dad! I got proof this time, by gummity!" he said. The boy then led everyone to the dock where they found a destroyed old boat.

"SEE?! It's the Gobble-dy-wonker what done did it!" the boy said, speaking in a thick hill billy accent. "It had a long neck like a gee-raffe! And wrinkly skin like...like this gentleman right here!" He pointed to Grunkle Dipper.

"Uh, ow!" Dipper said, annoyed. The boy, Fiddleford, ignored him.

"It chawed my boat up to smitheroons, and shim-shammed over to Scuttlebutt Island!" he tugged on his father's pants. "YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME!" There was silence that broken by Sheriff Blubs on his megaphone.

"Attention all units! We got ourselves another loony to add to the town!" Robbie joined in the jeer.

"What a dork!" Everyone but the Pines and the ranger pointed and laugh at the child. Fiddleford flushed in embarrassment and glanced up at his father who shook his head in shame. Fiddleford clenched his eyes shut and ran off.

There was an awkward silence among the Pines boys before Dipper broke it.

"Well, that happened," he said, rubbing the back of his head. "Uh, you know, you boys are right; fishing is lame! Er, how about we head on back to the shack and play piggy back with Waddles?" Ford frowned at him.

"Aren't you curious about the monster, Dipper?" he asked. Dipper laughed nervously.

"Ha! Monsters. I'm sure the kid was just exaggerating, Ford," he said. "I promise, there are no monsters in the lake. Especiallynotgiantislandshapedonesthateatpeople." He said this last part so quickly the twins missed it.

"Uh, what?"

"Nothing! Uh, come on! Let's um, go do some nice, safe grilling with Wacky Wendy!" As if on cue, Wacky Wendy flipped a burger that landed on her face, sizzling. Wacky Wendy was the town coot and had a disheveled appearance and a smell that stated she and soap were mortal enemies.

"Ha! That hurts!" she proclaimed happily. Then she threw off her flannel shirt. "Welp. Time to wrestle up some grub to appease the dead cow lords!" With that she jumped in the lake where she started tackling and strangling fish. Stanford pulled Stanley aside.

"Stan! You hear that?" he whispered.

"What? Grilling with Wacky Wendy?" Stanley asked.

"No, I mean about the monster! Look at this;" Ford shoved a paper in his hands.

"Human-sized hamster balls?" Stan blinked. "Sweet! Think of all the mayhem!" Ford shook his head.

"No, no! This." he pointed to a monster photo contest ad. "We see weirder stuff than that every day!" Stanley looked at it.

"I dunno, Ford... I mean remember the thing last week." Ford winced. It had been a week since the two were almost killed by the Shape shifter. Stan's back was still healing and was a constant reminder of how they were almost killed.

"Yeah, but come on!" Ford urged. "If we can get a picture of one of those creatures we'll be famous and admired by everyone!" Stanley still wasn't too eager to get involved with any weird stuff. Then he read the article.

"Whoa! There's a cash prize!" he said happily, catching on. "If we can snag a photo of that monster thing, we can split the prize fifty-fifty." He grabbed Ford.

"Imagine what we could do with five. Hundred. Dollars!" he beamed.

Stanley imagined himself in the theme song of Ducktales, living on the highlights like Uncle Scrooge, even diving into a vault of money.

Ford imagined himself getting an interview on TV as Indiana Jones and being rewarded for his great discovery.

They both ran over to Dipper who was getting the blue Prius car started up.

"Dipper! Change of plans: we're taking a boat to Scuttlebutt Island, and we're gonna find the Gobblewonker!" Ford proclaimed. Then both he and Stanley cheered,

"Monster hunt! Monster hunt!" Another voice joined in the chant.

"Monster Hunt!" The twins stop chanting and stared at the boy who had announced the monster attack. The boy's voice faded down as his face turned red in embarrassment. "Monster... Eh... I'll go." He left quickly and behind them they heard a large honking sound. The Pines glanced up and saw Aletta and her Abuelo, Soos.

"Hello, boys!" she greeted.

"Hey, dudes!" Soos said. Stanley brightened.

"Soos!" Stan got along great with Soos, who was the only person who didn't treat him like an idiot or a baby.

"Wassup, little dude!" Stanley ran up and the did a fist bump with small explosion noises. "You guys say somethin' about a monster hunt? Dude, you could totally use my boat for your hunt. It's got a steering wheel, chairs; you know, normal boat stuff."

"Uh- I dunno know about this, guys..." Dipper said nervously. Both the boys moaned.

" _C'mon, Dipper!_ Don't be suck a stick in the mud." Stan groaned.

"It'll be fun! And it's a great way to do some family bonding." Ford urged. "And you might get some stuff for the shop." Dipper hesitated, but eventually gave in to the puppy eyes.

"Sigh! Alright, alright. We'll go... _monster hunting_." Soos and the twins cheered as Aletta quietly climbed down from the boat.

"I'll go get us sunscreen." she said. "We don't want to get burned, do we?" Ford shifted and Stan made a face, lightly touching his back.

"Too late." he muttered in a low tone so no one would hear him. Further away Dipper took a deep breath.

"It's gonna be okay," he told himself as his grip tightened on his cane. "Everything is gonna be just fine." He turned to the lake and hoped he was right.

(*

Later, when they were all aboard the ship (and properly sun screened up), Stanley was standing on the stern of the boat with one foot on the guardrail. He was wearing a paper hat he made from the news paper Ford had given him earlier.

"Hoist the anchor!" Soos and Dipper did so. "Raise the flag!" Aletta did so. "We're gonna find that Gobblewonker and win the contest!"

"And we're gonna go down in history as the greatest monster hunters ever!" Ford added. He and Stanley did a high six. Then Stanley turned to the rest.

"Alright. If we wanna win this contest, we've gotta do it right!" He blanked for a moment. "And that is..." He looked to Ford who took over.

"Think. What's the number one problem with most monster hunts?" Soos raised a hand.

"Ooh! Ooh! You're a side character, then you die within the first five minutes of the movie." he went quiet. "Dude, am I a side character?! Do y'ever think about stuff like that?" Dipper sighed.

"No, no, no. Camera trouble. It's always, always camera trouble. That and posession, fog, the occasion death or government cover up..." he said, speaking like he knew from experience. "But mostly camera trouble. I'll show you; Say Bigfoot shows up. Soos, be Bigfoot will ya?" Soos struck a Bigfoot pose.

"'There he is! Bigfoot!'" he said in fake voice and he patted his life vest. "Uh-oh, no camera!" then he pulled out one. "'Oh, wait, here's one! Aw, no film!' You see? You see what I mean?" he finished in a normal voice. Everyone nodded.

"Oh, yeah. Dude's got a point." Soos said.

"Yeah, and not only that, but sometimes fog will happen, or the camera man will get scared and run away when you're about to make the biggest break in your career—THANKS A LOT FRED!" Dipper yelled to the air. He cleared his throat when he noticed everyone giving him weird looks.

"Ahem! Yes, well. You get the point. That's why I bought seventeen disposable cameras! Two on my ankle, three in my jacket, three for each of you, four extras in this bag, and one... under my hat!" he lifted his top hat which Ford expected a rabbit to hop out of. "All in all we should be set."

"Wow, Dipper you thought of everything," Ford praised. Dipper brightened.

"Well, I am an experienced Ghost hunter you know," he said. "Monsters aren't that different. Except they can eat you." Dipper made a face at this.

"Aw, dude!" Soos took a picture of himself and the flash startled him, making him toss the camera overboard.

"You see?" Dipper said. "This is exactly why you always need backup cameras. We still have sixteen!" Suddenly a seagull swooped down at Stanley, attracted to his hat for some reason.

"Hey!" Stanley angrily threw a camera at it.

"Fifteen!" Dipper said with the special exasperation he had just for Stanley. Ford frowned.

"Okay guys, let's try not to lose our cameras!" he called to everyone.

"Wait, lose the cameras?" Soos 'repeated.'

"DON'T!"

"Dude, I just threw two away." Ford put a hand to his forehead.

"Well, we still have thirteen camera-" as he said this he accidentally crushed one with his foot. "Twelve. We have twelve cameras." Aletta bent down with a hand broom and dust pan and swept up the mess with her usual hum.

"Right!" Stanley declared. "Ford, you're lookout with Dipper! Soos can work the steering wheel. Aletta, make he doesn't crash us into anything."

"What'll you do?"

"I'll be captain." Ford frowned.

"What? Why do you get to be captain?"

"Because I got the hat!"

"It's a hat you made from a news paper!" Ford exclaimed. "Which I gave you by the way!"

"So! It's still a captain's hat!"

"That doesn't mean you get to be in charge!" The two started fighting until Dipper separated them with his cane.

"Guys!" he scowled, lightly tapping Stanley on the head. "You two can be co-captains." Both the boys moaned.

" _Co-captains_?"

"That's not a real thing." Aletta stepped forward, smoothing her pink summer dress.

"Excuse me," she said politely. "But how are we going to lure the monster out?" Ford jumped up.

"With this!" he pulled a tarp and revealed a barrel of fish food. Soos raised a hand.

"Permission to taste some?" he asked.

"Granted." said Ford.

"Co-granted." Stanley added. "After I have a taste!" Stanley ran over and licked the fish food. His face scrunched up.

"Eww!" he moaned as Ford chuckled. Soos was about to lick the food, but before he could Aletta took it from his hand.

"Sorry, Abuelo." she said sweetly. "But you have to remember your diet." Soos' shoulders drooped in disappointment.

"Aww..."

The team made their way towards Scuttlebutt Island. The whole island was surrounded by a thick fog that gave it a spooky feeling that made Ford feel like he was in one of his mystery books. Aletta was steering the boat while shoveling out fish food while Soos was napping in the back. He offered to steer, but Aletta didn't want him exerting himself.

The twins were up front with their Grunkle, looking out for anything they might crash into.

"Welcome to Scuttlebutt island," Stanley said in deep voice as he played ventriloquist with a pelican. " _Where your souls will lay forever in an endless torment as your bodies join Davy Jones' locker_. _Ha, ha, ha_!" Ford chuckled, but Dipper rolled his eyes.

"Stan, leave that thing alone before it bites you." he told him. "And get down from there before you fall overboard." Stanley was standing on the railings of the boat, dangerously close to the edge.

"Aw, lighten up!" Stan said in the same deep voice as he continued to play with the bird. Suddenly the boat hit land and Stanley fell overboard.

"Whoa!" The pelican flew away as he fell. Fortunately he fell forward so his back was safe. "I'm okay!" he called up to the others. Dipper let out a sigh. The Pines all climbed overboard while Aletta stayed behind with her Abuelo, stating the trek might be a bit too much excitement for him (to which he let out a disappointed, "Aww!").

So it was just the Pines who ventured into the foggy woods. The twins took up lead while Dipper covered the rear as his bad knee refused to let him go faster. The twins didn't know the details, but Stan had apparently shattered his knee in his youth and as a result had to use a cane. Stanley thought he just played for the insurance money because he had seen Dipper walk without the cane and run when he had to. Ford tried to defend his grunkle, stating a bunch of medical stuff that Stan couldn't understand if he tried.

They soon came to a large sign nailed to a tree that read, "Scuttlebutt Island." The twins stoped in front of it.

"Hey, sixer, check it out." He covered the "Scuttle" part of the sign. "Butt Island." Ford laughed and gave him a playful shove.

"You're so immature, Stan!" he laughed.

"Alright you two, let's keep moving," Dipper said, holding the flashlight up. Stanley scoffed.

"What's wrong with you? Are you scared?" Dipper rolled his eyes.

"Stanley, please! I'm a professional ghost hunter, remember? I don't get scared." He cut off a growling noise echoed in the distance. Stanley and Ford shuffled closer to Dipper as old man held the light higher.

"Okay, time to go back." Dipper said quickly.

"What?!" Ford exclaimed. "Just like that?! We're not even going to investigate?!"

"Ford, that was probably a bear. And trust me, bears are really, really bad news," Dipper told him. "No, seriously! I know. I've dealt with them. A LOT." Then he started muttering, "More than the park ranger. And trust me they were no Yogi! Although I did get Boo-boos..."

"But it could have been the monster!" Ford interrupted. "Dipper, just imagine what would happen if we got that picture!"

"Yeah!" Stan agreed. "We came all the way here and we're not turning back now." With that he and Ford ran forward.

"Guys! Wait!" Dipper called. Then he let out a long sigh. "Honestly... why do those two have to be so..." His eyes sadden on his old face as he clutched at the gold pine tree broach around his neck. "...like us." Dipper's eyes cast to the side for another moment before he followed the twins.

They walked for great length, but found nothing. The twins were starting to get discouraged. Seeing this, Dipper stepped up to them and placed a hand on their shoulders.

"Hey, don't look so down," he said to them. "Not every lead is gonna to lead to something, especially in this kind of stuff." Ford sighed.

"I guess that kid was a little crazy." he muttered. Just then the growling noise from earlier echoed out, chasing a flock of birds flies overhead. Stan grabbed Ford's jacket and shook him.

"Ford! Ford, did you hear that?" Grinning like crazy they charged forward.

"Boys! Boys, wait!" Dipper cried after them. The ignored him however and continued running.

"Stan! You got the camera ready?" Ford yelled to his brother. Stanley winked as he pulled a camera from his vest.

"Got it, bro!" He squinted ahead and spotted the lake monster silhouette. "I see it!"

The twin ran towards it, screaming as they rapidly took snapped photos until Stanley tripped and tumbled down the ground and to the edge.

"Ow, ow, OW!"

"Stanley!" Stanley bit back a whimper. His back was really bothering him now he had tumbled and stretched it. Wincing he looked up and discovered the silhouette was the remains of a wrecked boat with beavers living on it.

"Are you kidding me?!" Stanley exclaimed angrily.

"But what about that sound?" Ford said as he carefully helped Stanley sit up. They heard the sound again. The boys turned their heads and saw a beaver chewing on, and sometimes activating, a rusty old chainsaw.

"Okay, as cool as that it is it isn't going to win us five hundred dollars." Stan said flatly. The boys let out disappointed sighs. Stanford walked to a rock and sat on it.

"Well, there's goes our fame," he muttered. Suddenly the rock he was on shook. "Uh, Stan? Dipper? Do you feel something?" The rock suddenly sank under the water, pulling Ford with. He re-emerged though and swam to shore where Dipper pulled him out with his cane.

"Guys! Look!" Stanley exclaimed. Through the fog they spotted the Gobblewonker's silhouette swimming away.

"That's it! The Gobblewonker!" Ford exclaimed happily as he started taking taking pictures. "This is our chance!" He turned but saw the other two backing away slowly. "What's wrong with you guys?" he asked, not noticing the Gobblewonker swimming back towards the island and rise.

"Sixer..."

"Ford..."

"What's wrong with you guys? This is our big break! Just point and click! Like this!" he turned and realized why the others were acting the way they were. The beast let out a mighty roar causing Ford to drop his camera.

"Run!" Dipper yelled.

The Gobblewonker lunged and pushed a tree over. It fell towards Stan, but Dipper dove forward and both roll out of the way. The three continue to run and dodge falling trees, even Dipper whose bad knee should have prevented him from doing all this.

"Get back to the boat! HURRY!" The Gobblewonker snaps at Ford, who Dipper scooped up in his arms. Stanley started running backwards to snap a picture, but tripped over a root, dropping the camera.

"Ahh! My money vault!" He started to run back for it, but Dipper grabbed him as well.

"Not worth your life, Stan!" he yelled.

They made it back to the ship, where Aletta was tidying up the boat while Soos slept. Her eyes widen when she saw the beast.

"Oh dear!" Dipper tossed the twins in the boat before he pushing the boat back into the water. Then he jumped in himself.

"Go, go, GO!" he yelled. Pain filled his voice as his knee rebelled violently against him for the abuse it suffered despite being weak. Aletta jumped behind the wheel and steered the boat back into the water. Soos was startled awake by a sudden turn.

"Huh? What? WHOA." Stan ran to the edge.

"All right! This is it!" he tried to take a picture, but- "Cracked lens?! Are you serious?!"

"Don't worry, bro! I go this!" Ford took a picture, but suddenly a seagull swept down and pulled it out of his hand. "HEY!" Stanley turned.

"Soos!" Soos however was throwing cameras at the monster, as if that would make it go away. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Soos seemed to realize the error of his ways.

"Oops! Sorry dudes! I still got one left! Don't worry, dude!" He tossed it towards the boys, but missed and it hit the wall where it broke.

"Oh dear." Aletta let go of the steering wheel and grabbed her broom and dust pan. As a result of her letting go of the wheel, the boat started to swerve in a circle.

"AHH! Aletta! Clean LATER!" Dipper lunged forward and tried to gain control as the Gobblewonker dived into the water and began to chase the gang all around the lake.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" Dipper chanted. While trying to get control they came upon the beaver dam they saw earlier.

"DIPPER! BEAVERS!" Ford yelled.

Dipper was unable to dodge it in time and as a result the boat crashed into the old, broken boat. Beavers flew everywhere, landing on the boat and the crew, biting both. Stan barely dodged as the beaver with the chainsaw fell. Everyone screamed loudly as the beavers attacked. They were biting Aletta's hair, Ford's arm, Soos' cap, and one lunged at Dipper's face. This caused the old man to stumble away from the wheel. Ford, who was the closest, took control and steered away from the Gobblewonker as to continued it's pursuit under water. The S.S. Cool Dude droves through the area where everyone was fishing, except for Whacky Wendy who had a large fish in a headlock.

"Hrr! Hrr! No longer will you continue your tirade of the sea, you scaly demons!" she cried. Suddenly her boat was over turned by a wave from the Gobblewonker. Fish start raining down upon her. "AHH! The fishes! They seek revenge! Well, you won't get me!" she screamed as she bit into a salmon's stomach and angrily ripped out it's eggs.

Back at the S.S. Cool Dude, The Gobblewonker continued it's attack with a swipe at the boat and managed to knock the control cabin off.

"Aah! Look out!" Ford yelled. He pointed forward towards a dead end.

"WHAT DO WE DO? WHAT DO WE DO?!" Stan yelled into his ear. Ford glanced around, then let go of the wheel to whip out the diary, forcing Stan to take control. Aletta was pulling a beaver off of Dipper's face.

"Um... uh..." He flipped through the pages and finally found something. "GO INTO THE FALLS! I think there might be a cave behind there!"

"MIGHT BE?!" Stanley exclaimed.

They all screamed as the boat crashed into the waterfall. Fortunately there was a secret cave it, saving them a bloody crash. Instead they crashed on the shore sending them all into the dirt. Groaning they all stood, except for Dipper, whose knee tightened in pain. They turn around to see the Gobblewonker swim in after them. The twins screamed as they clung to Dipper, who hugged them back. They all winced, waiting for the attack which never came. They peeked and saw the beast trapped in the cave entrance.

"It's stuck!" Stanley proclaimed happily. Ford smiled widely.

"Ha ha! Yeah! Wait...It's stuck?" He tried to find a camera, but finds none. "Aw, c';mon!"

"Looking for this?" Dipper lifted his hat to reveal a hidden camera. Ford laughed as he took it and started taking picture of the beast. It snapped at him, but he jumped back in time.

"Did you get a good one?" Aletta asked kindly. She had bent down to help tend to Dipper's knee.

"THEY'RE ALL GOOD ONES!" Stan cheered. "High six!" Stanford slapped his brother's hand as they both leaped joyfully. "Money bin, here we come!"

The beast thrashed and struggled in the cave wall until it's struggles made a rock dislodge and land on it head. There was a very electric as it fell down. The twins frowned.

"Huh?"

"What the...?" Ford jumped down quickly followed by Stanley.

"Guys! Be careful!" Dipper called after them. Scowling Ford touched the beast's side and knocked on it as Stanley climbed over to the other side. There was a hollow metallic sound.

"What's wrong?" Aletta asked.

"Hmm..." Ford said. "There's somethin' weird here..."

"Hey, guys!" Stanley called as he popped up from the other side. "Check this out!" Soos and Aletta helped Dipper to the other side where the gang discovers a handle. The twin and turn it, and steam comes out. They open the trapdoor and more steam came out. They could see inside now and there they discovered-

"Fiddleford?" The kid didn't notice them just yet.

"Work the bellows and the...Eh?" he noticed them. "Aww, banjo polish!"

"Are you kidding me?!" Stanley exclaimed. "What is this? A Scooby-Doo Cartoon?!" Ford was bewildered.

"Wha- Yo- You?! You made this? W-w-why?" The kid shuffled nervously.

"Well, I...I, uh..." his shoulders dropped with a sigh. "I just wanted attention." Dipper ran a hand through his hair.

"I don't understand." he said. The boy brightened.

"Oh! Well, first I just hootenannied up a biomechanical brain wave generator, and then I learned to operate a stick-shift with ma mouth!"

"Okay, yeah. But _why_ did you do it?" Dipper asked. Fidleford let out a long breath.

"Well, you see... I'm not very popular here. Everyone thinks I'm a freak and a nerd. All they do is make fun and laugh. And pa is always busy with his job. So I figured maybe I'd catch his fancy with a fifteen ton aquatic robut!" He sighed. "In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. But you don't know what it's like having everyone make fun of ya, thinkin' yer some kind of weirdo, and a dad that's never impressed." Stanley and Stanford shared a look. They did know. Dipper put a sympathetic hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Fiddleford, did you ever talk to your dad about how you felt?"

"No, sir, I got to work straight on the robut!" he said. He pushed a button and a projector appeared. It the beamed blueprints for the Gobblewonker on the trapdoor. "I made lots of robuts over the last few years! Like when my ma left me and dad and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron, or when my pal Ernie didn't come to my birthday party and I constructed an eighty ton SHAME BOT THAT EXPLODED THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN AREA!" As he spoke he pushed the button and the projectors showed a newspaper with a robot pterodactyl breathing fire on a town and the word "chaos," and another with a large robot terrorizing a town and the word 'disaster.' Fiddleford sighed.

"Ah, well. I guess that was a failure."

"No, it's something else." Dipper said, carefully choosing his words around the twelve year old mad man.

Ford sighed.

"Well, so much for the photo contest." he muttered. Stan scoffed.

"Meh, I'm still sending it in. How will they ever know?" he said. "Anyway, we still have one roll of film left. Whaddaya wanna do with it?" Ford thought for a minute, then grinned.

"Hey, kid," he said to Fiddleford. "Wanna hang with us?"

The gang then spent the whole afternoon surfing the lake in Fiddleford's robot making summer memories, mostly by causing chaos and panic while out running the lake police.

When the day was done, Ford let out a sigh.

"Well, that cool, but it's too bad we didn't get see the _real_ gobblewonker."

"Is there even a Gobblewonker?" Stan asked. "Seems like a pretty stupid name for a sea monster."

Dipper gave them both a smile as he ruffled Ford's hair.

"Who knows? Maybe you'll see him next time." he said generously, not seeing the shadow disappear below them.

(End of Chapter)

Originally was going to post this later, but I really wanted to have show Dipper spending time with his boys. And hey! We got to meet Fiddle-dee! X3

Anyways, review please!


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